5/8/2020 6:05 AM
Are you one of those people who wants to get early in the office so that he can get ahead of the day. It is currently 6 am right now and I cannot go back to sleep because I am thinking of all the things I need to do.
If I am being honest with myself, I would say that I am currently procrastinating right now. However, I want to believe that I am writing this to get to a program or to a solution of not having enough time. Writing helps me to get things out of my head.
Do other people have this anxiety as well? Yes they do. Let us think for the moment what possible reasons does anxiety play in our lives.
According to experts anxiety and stress happens to give you that additional boost of energy to escape an uncomfortable situation. For example in the animal kingdom stress happens when they are being hunted by predatory animals. Have you watched the discovery channel and see a lion chase a pack of zebras? All the zebras are stressed out and that gives them the energy to either run or stay in fight for their lives. What do you mean zebras fight back? Yes they do! Google it, some of them do fight back lions and sometimes they win.When we are stressed there are only two responses fight or flight.
Let us tangent a little bit fight or flight is an automatic response. It is not something you choose, let me repeat that you have no choice in the matter, it is an automatic response. Research shows that the automatic response is hard wired on what makes you happier. Some people are happier to stay and fight to test out there skills while others choose to avoid conflict and live for another day.
Now that is an interesting nugget of knowledge doesn't it? How you might ask? Well when you are stressed if you not equipped or prepared for what is coming you will run to preserve yourself. On the other hand if you are equipped and ready you will stay and fight what was bothering you and test out your skills.
Fight or flight is not a zero and one response for a particular person you will always have both. To illustrate this let us say that a production database went down and then the CEO of the company is yelling at your boss because the company is losing money while the database is down. For me that is stressful but I will stay and fight. Firstly because it is my job. Secondly because I am equipped and skilled to restore the database at a moment’s notice. If this is to happen when I am not yet skilled I would be pulling my hair out of my head.
Now for the second example of an auto response. Are you afraid of cockroaches? For me I am not scared of cockroaches that are crawling. I am terrified of those that are flying! This is a silly auto response for me. A flying cockroach sends my body into panic always looking for a way out of the room. Never in my life have I imagined myself to chase head on a flying cockroach. Am I equipped and skilled to deal with it? Hell yeah! But why does my body run towards the exit? It has something to do with the limbic part of my brain where there is an auto response that this buggers use to kill my ancestors and it was way better to run away from them.
So what am I saying it is all in your head? Sounds cliché I mean where else would it be, in my knee? Furthermore, saying its all in your head is precisely what makes it excruciating that we stay awake at night. It is for that same reason you are reading this post.
Circling back to the zebras being hunted by the lions. The lions chase their prey and eventually gets an old sick zebra that cannot run anymore. Have you noticed on youtube how the other zebras are just standing there and grazing while the lions are chowing down their dear old grandpa? How can they possibly do that?
It is because for them the stress is gone and no one is chasing them anymore. They can relax while the lions are just 100 feet away from them. They do not worry about the future.
How we wish we could be zebras and have no worry in the world. You might ask then how does a zebra do it? How can they not worry?
Because they literally can't. They do not have a prefrontal cortex in their brains.
Yes that is correct the very thing that separates humans from animals, the prefrontal cortex, is also the culprit for us to worry. The prefrontal cortex is everything that makes a human. It is responsible for planning, emotional control, analytic thinking and other cool stuff.
What I am saying is, you are human and it is exactly normal to worry. Worry is a byproduct of the human psyche's ability to do simulations on the future. We get anxious because we don't have immediate solutions in some simulations we play on our minds.
Well thanks a lot we are now doomed because we cannot escape worrying. Correct we cannot escape it. It is built in in our system. It is what makes a human. It is the flying the cockroach inside the room.
The thing I want you to do is simulate how to deal with the flying cockroach on the room.
Think of options you have.
- Run for your life and get out of the room.
- Comeback and finish the job with
- Bug Spray
- flip flops
- Shotgun
- Bring your cat to deal with it.
- Leave and let live
- Stay and endure the moment.
- Chase the bugger and stomp it.
Next are what the viable options are? I don't have a shotgun or a cat. I don't want to endure the moment. I cannot stomp on it because I am walking barefoot.
I am now left with options 1:1 & 1:2. Kill the bugger and clean up after or leave it until it leaves on its own. Personally speaking I will go with 1:2 because I believe all lives are precious.
Did you see what we did there? We deal with worrying by simulation. Let me breakdown the steps.
CURE FOR WORRYING
- Literally list down your options. Use either a literal or digital notepad. Do not filter the ideas just write what you feel in your gut.
- Short list the options based on
- Preference - I don't want to clean up after I kill it. Wait what I meant to say is that all lives are precious.
- Resources - I don't have a shotgun
- Time
- Training
- Internet
- Colleagues
- Skills - I know how to get out of the room
- Functional
- Social
- Political
- Planning
- Decide what is right and then do it.
It looks simple but it is not. Have you ever seen SWAT train and train simulations after simulations years and years of training for a hostage event that has a slim chance of happening in their entire career? Did you know that research shows that 98% of SWAT will never use a firearm in a real life situation? Yet they train endlessly for it. Why you may ask. Because they want to be SWAT.
They decided to endure the endless training for years for that one moment to be heroes.
SWAT did not start out as SWAT. They were once bullied in the schools and still afraid of cockroaches. They trained slowly and accurately.
They did not go to zero to 100. They trained and simulated zero to 10,10 to 20, 20 to 30.........90 to 100.
Go ahead and start listing options that is first and crucial step and then follow the steps I provided.
Whatever role or situation in life that you are on. You are there for a reason. If you do not want to deal with the flying cockroach on the room work up the skill to leave the room.
In conclusion, the old adage “Don't worry be Happy” is 100% inaccurate. It is literally impossible for a normal human being not to worry. We are hardwired to worry and to be anxious.
There are 3 hard steps to cure worry.
- Literally list down your options.
- Short list the options based on situation
- Decide what is right.
Improve your worrying skills from zero to 10.
Let me end this with a quote for you to remember when you start to worry again.
"Worrying is a major part of life.
We need only to react.
Flight or Fight" - Dexter Velasco
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